Nothing like wishing you had something to say.

Things are a little slow right now, so I'm going to take this opportunity to just start rambling.  Things have been going pretty well in recent weeks.  There has been some drama, but that's all behind me now.  I do feel like I'm doing a better job of focusing on the positive stuff and dumping the negative stuff as quickly as it shows up.  It's football season, something I've been waiting for since the last day of last season.  There really isn't anything like all of us getting together pretty much every Saturday for the games.  With 3 tv's going, and the booze flowing, hilarity almost always ensue.  Thought the vibe this year is a little different.  Last season the ladies were pregnant.  This season, there are kids everywhere.  It's changed the tone a bit, but it's still a great way to kill pretty much an entire day.

Ok, that managed to kill just a couple of minutes.  I'm going to go get some actual work done real quick then come back to it.  Maybe then I'll actually have something to say.

Not quite to plan

There's just something to be said about walking up to the fork in the road and intentionally choosing the harder path.  I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I could clearly see both ends of the fork.  I had an idea as to where each path would lead me, but the bends in the road make it harder to be sure.  So, I took the road that led to the destination I want to arrive at.  I know for a fact this road is way more difficult.  But the "what if I didn't ever try" factor was just too damn high to pass up.  The potential reward is so worth the trip.  I've taken a couple of bumps so far.  Nothing too severe, no broken bones yet.  But there's this feeling that when you choose the path, you also choose how the road goes.  At least with me there was.  Like, I knew how hard it would be, but it's all OK.  It's on my terms.  It's my version of manageable.  But then life turns around as you get complacent and lets you know that it's never on your terms.  So, with a new bruise I pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on the path.  Cause I think I can almost see the end.  And it's a better ending than I originally pictured.

23 August 2011

Cause that's the best thing I can think of to start this.  There have been a ton of things going on in my life the last couple of weeks.  But nothing I'm going to sit here and share.  Which is odd.  Normally I'm all about sharing my experiences.  Minus the couple of stupid arguments, it's been all so far beyond go I don't know how to describe it. 

As planned, 2011 has been a big year.  And continues to move in that direction.  The housing situation has pretty much fully resolved itself.  I knew that was going to take some time.  I'm still in a holding pattern for a bit longer, but may finally be within my reach. 

I've made hugely positive changes in my life.  I've eliminated the people that create drama.  I've been supportive of friends, and tried to be a good friend to the people I care about, but have also started looking out for myself.  And that never happened before. 

I'm not stressed anymore.  Well, not like I used to be.  I'm happy.  And I credit a large part of that happiness to a great woman.  Her smile and attitude have had a large impact on me.  I can't help but smile her when I see her.  And we've been spending a lot of our free time together.  And for the first time in a long time, I see a future with this girl.  And she sees something very similar.  While the whole situation may be complicated, and not something I ever saw myself in, I have a good feeling it's all going to work out just fine.

An amazing feeling

So many of my friends have talked to me in the past about knowing when they met "the one."  And I've always written those conversations off as great stories but just not practical to the real world anymore.  Well in recent months those thoughts have changed. 

It's been awhile since I met her.  Easily 8 months.  I'd noticed her from afar for a long time.  And finally I grew the balls necessary to strike up a conversation.  Since then it's been nothing but good times.  We've hung out a fair amount.  Had a ton of serious conversations.  Had more stupid and silly ones.  There are so many things I could say about this girl that are amazing.  But most importantly to me right now is the way she makes me feel.  I can honestly say I've never felt this good.  Or this happy.  She's a damn amazing woman.  And if this is the feeling you were all talking about before, you should have described it as such.  There's nothing I won't do to spend time with her.  There's nothing I won't do to keep this feeling alive. 

She knows who she is.  She knows I'm crazy about her.  And every day that I am lucky enough to know her I'm going to treat her as amazingly as she's treated me.

Jealousy

So since I'm not a jealous person by nature, I would really like someone to explain to me what the hell would cause a normal person to flip out over something simple.  I have my own hang ups about really various stuff, but you can't try and control someones every actions and imagine that they'll respect you.  I'm insecure, but being an asshole just because of that insecurity has never crossed my mind.  I just don't get it, and I see it all the time.  So please, someone please explain...

A simple smile.

It is absolutely amazing how just a simple smile can actually change your day.  With the way everything has been going for me lately, I can't help but have great days.  I really and honestly love my life.  That being said, it's not without it's bad moments.  Nothing major, just annoyances or irritations.  But there has been a pretty constant smile in my days.

To those of you who I talk to that are smiling, happy people... thank you.  I am often surrounded by idiots and negative people.  I understand how crappy getting up in the morning is.  But I don't walk into work set on being an asshole to people just cause I'm up.  And I'll admit there's been this one infectious smile recently.  Every time I see it, I can't help but smile bigger.  And I can't get enough of that feeling.  I hope more than anything at this point that it never goes away.  And I intend to do my best to pass that feeling along to as many other people as possible.  So get ready, it's time for a big group smile.

Summer breeze

I've been luck this year and I've actually been able to enjoy our summer hours.  Last year was kind of a modified work week so I didn't get to take full advantage.  I'll tell you what's been awesome about getting out of work at noon every Friday for the last month or so and what I'm looking forward to enjoying for the rest of the summer.

1.  Day drinking while other friends are still at work.  There's been something satisfying about getting a beer (or 3) with lunch knowing others can't.  Though I haven't had any in the last 3 weeks.  But once I get closer to the goal weight I'll get back to having some fun.

2.  Lunch with a good looking girl.  I've been getting closer to this girl recently.  It seems like we're becoming pretty decent friends.  I enjoy her company a lot.  She's always in a good mood, she smiles a ton.  And that makes me smile.  We've spent the last few Fridays sitting and talking over lunch or while we're just walking around.  It's been a blast getting to know her, hope it continues for a long time to come.

3.  Shopping.  I enjoy shopping, though not just for the fuck of it.  I don't have any problem going to the mall, unless I'm just going to wander around.  My version of shopping is easy.  Get in with a game plan.  Buy or not buy depending on what I find.  Leave.  It's easy.  I won't go wander around aimlessly just looking at stuff. 

4.  Getting everything done before the weekend starts.  I know technically it started at 12:00 when I punched out, but it feels like a freebie.  So far I've been able to get all of the stupid running around done before 5 on Friday that I would have done on Saturday.  Which leaves my weekends wide open to nothing but pure fun.  And there's typically less people out on Friday so I don't have to deal with nearly as many stupid people.

5.  The beach.  Nothing says fun like killing a few hours in the sand and water.  And getting out there before it gets crowed is a huge plus. 


And so far on the agenda for the rest of the summer's Fridays.  Cookouts, lunches with friends, trips out of town and a ton of various fun.  So bring it on summer, I'm already ready already!!