Like a record

Man, sometimes I just get the feeling like I'm not in control of my life in the least bit. Last Friday was one of those days where everything just came undone. The extra cash I was told would be in my paycheck from the sick time I didn't use in 2009 didn't show up. I had one of those life flashes before my eyes near misses on the way to work in the morning. Work was crap, the people were multiple levels of hate walking around the office all day. I tried to cut out early to get a tattoo, that didn't happen as it's easier to wait until 4 pm on a Friday to try to get some important stuff done. So when I finally leave I have to hurry to my appointment only to find it's been pushed back 3 hours due to scheduling problems and women not understanding how to sit through the pain of a tattoo. Then the snow hit Charleston. So of course the owner closed the shop early due to the idiots on the road. Which meant I only got started on the tattoo. So I got screwed out of some money, at least in the short term. And after starting to have a couple of good days in a row I'm back to trying to get a friend to understand my feelings.

I'm pretty vocal about what's going through my head. I've found it's a lot easier to go ahead and say what I feel needs to be said to avoid any issues. Or bring the issues to the foreground, and avoid wasting time either being angry or confused. So of course, I'm unable to get a straight answer. It's a simple question; do you see a place for me as more than friends in your future. Not your present, not your past, but your future. Meaning do I have a shot or is it the friend zone forever. I just want to know where I stand so I can sort out a bunch of my feelings. And with no real answer provided I'm left to wonder. My issue now it who do I make happy? Cut and run and hope I'm happy? Or stay and make her happy that we're friends and I'll be miserable the whole time? Nothing could be finer! Sometimes I just want a map laid out in front of me showing me the right way to go. I can deal with the bumps normally, but I want to know the road is leading me in the right direction. I've been so lost lately I don't even know which was is up. Oh well, one more try now and then I'll guess the question was answered for me anyway.