Forward progress

"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."

And that about summarizes where I think I'm at today. I'm trying to get myself pointed in the right direction emotionally. And I think I'm at the point where I need to stop, turn around, and start over on a new road.

I've warned more than a few people I'm fully capable of being an asshole. I still think I'm a nice person by nature. I think the asshole comes out when I'm defending myself or when I've just had enough of someone's crap. And I've noticed lately that the amount of crap I feel like dealing with is getting smaller and smaller. I'm still trying to understand why I act like an asshole in an effort to push people away. I'm guessing it's just the level my level of immaturity. And a show of selfishness. I'm very flexible, and I'll give you the world if you ask for it. So when I ask for something and don't get it, I get extremely frustrated. I may just have to lower the standards some more I guess. I don't ever expect perfection from people. But I think I hold them to the same standards I hold myself to. And that's not fair to you at all. No offense, but you can't keep up with me. I set my own bar extremely high so I have something to push for every single day. I set attainable goals, but throw in a couple that I'll have to really drive for to get done. I guess that I've always assumed that other people do the same thing. Maybe I'm very wrong.

So, now's the time to turn around. Let's get back to the fork in the road and really look at the other road for a second. I won't change who I am as a person, we all know that. But since I'm still working on changing my perception of things, maybe a change in scenery will help.