6 days

I guess it started a little longer ago, but for the sake of this story we'll go with 6 days.

In keeping with the thought process where I'm just going to go ahead and call people out on their crap when they bring it to me, I managed to piss off Girl A last week. She had it coming, I'd bitten my tongue for long enough. Plus, I'd had just enough alcohol to turn off the filter. So me being me, I said everything I'd held back for the last 6 months or so. It felt awesome.

Some of the information coming from Girl A in the middle of the text war was information that I'd never shared with her. But, they sound eerily familiar to conversations I'd had with Girl B. So I text Girl B to get some info. Girl A and Girl B work together but aren't really friends. Or so I was told, I don't believe that now. So when I call Girl B out, she tells me that she's shared no information and that Girl A must have taken her phone and looked through it. Right, I'm apparently stupid enough to believe that.

The argument with Girl B went on over the course of a couple of days. Near the end of that text war I get hit with Girl C. Seems her current squeeze dislikes my choice of words in texts. Turns out, with women who are in a relationship at least, they can't be called beautiful by someone else. You all know me. I use beautiful, gorgeous and kiddo with pretty much everyone. Well, not the guys at least. In my defense, I've been using the same language from the very beginning of me being single, so that's 5 years now. Never had a problem before. What bothers me about it is that it's not meant as anything more than me being me. And Girl C knows that. But in an effort to avoid an argument I get spoken to. With no chance to argue for myself or defend my behavior. And both of these discussions are going on while I'm trying to get ready to go spend time with Girl D. Kinda makes for a frustrating evening.

And now that it's all out and I'm done venting I'm going to get out there and enjoy my weekend.

People watching

We all do it. It's awesome. Now, I won't ignore a conversation I'm having over lunch to just stare at people and judge them but it's something fun to do. Just a couple of observations John and I made while drinking in Savannah over the weekend.

If the girl you are bringing out is wearing a dress (and a nice dress at that) you, as a man, need to do better than you did. Nike Shox, jeans, a polo shirt that is a ridiculous color and a backwards cap isn't going to cut it. And nothing matched either. At least put some effort in. She obviously did.

Baseball hats are not crowns. So when you're wearing one, it should be on your head. Not just resting on a small portion of your head. And I think most of us agree that the brim of the hat should either face forward or backwards. I'm not going to take points away if you wear it slightly askew but let's not get ridiculous.

I have tattoos. I'll answer any questions you might have about tattoos. But I was also raised by a very sweet and caring woman and a firm father. I have manners. Please do a little better trying to hide the fact that you're shocked when I say please and thank you.

If you are dressed in such a way that half of your ass or most of your chest is on display, don't give me the dirty look for checking you out. I'm pretty discreet but come on! You came out to a bar full of military guys on a Saturday evening. They're drinking, you knew what you were getting into. Stop acting so surprised.

That's all I can remember for the minute. I know there was more, I'll add to the list whenever I think of them.

Your attitude

If I take time out of my day to make sure you're having a good day, leave your crap at the door when we talk. I know that I tend to have more free time than most during the work day. It's not that I'm not busy, I'm just very efficient normally. I can knock out my own stuff and still make time to say hello without taking away from anything. And I understand that many of you lead way more involved lives than I do. My life is pretty damn simple. No significant other. No kids. When I leave work, that's the last time I have to deal with it until I return tomorrow. But that's done by my choice.

Understand this please. I check on you because I care. Not because I'm bored. And if you're having a crappy day and it's not my fault, don't start snapping at me. When you do, I always tell you I'll just talk to you when you're in a better mood. And yet almost every time I get snapped at because I made the decision to walk away and keep my good mood going. When I'm having a hard time, you don't hear from me. Or, I immediately tell you I'm not in the mood to talk and I'll get at you when the timing is better.

If you don't like your job, do something about it. If you don't like the people at your job, do something about it. If you don't like the way your spouse spoke/treated you, do something about it. If you don't like your kids attitude, do something about it. Great news, I'm not the cause of any of that stuff. So quit coming at me like I've had anything to do with it. If you want to vent, you've got my number. But if you want a fight, I'm the wrong guy. Because I don't fight fair. I will deliberately hurt your feelings to get you to shut up. You won't like my attitude when I finally get fed up with dealing with your crap.

It writes songs for all to hear...

Let's start by saying that I'm not super creative. I like to think that at times I can be but normally I fail pretty hard at it. I am not now nor will I ever be an artist. I can barely draw stick figures. I'm still working on learning to play the guitar. I still suck at it, but that comes from not practicing enough or as consistently as I was at the end of last year.

I will say I am envious of a few musicians ability to put pen to paper. We've all heard about my vast appreciation of music. The style of music will dictate what I'm more concerned about. If it's hip-hop or r & b, it's all about beat. I know the lyrics are going to be the same from artist to artist. And better yet, they're going to be about stupid stuff. We get it, you like rims and hoes. I do to, just not to the same level at all.

The current kick is lyrics. I'm obsessed with a couple of songwriters right now. The way they seem to be able to consistently put amazing thoughts on paper is beyond me. And of course, while open to my own interpretation and feelings, the stuff seems deeply personal. Having had a conversation or 2 with someone who's written some amazing stuff I've determined it's just the way their brains are wired. In the same way I'm great at math, they're great at expressing themselves. Now, I can do okay in a conversation or 2. That is unless my brain just shuts off and I space out for a minute. And I do have a problem with speaking too quickly. But I'm trying to slow down. And I'm trying to come up with some mind blowing stuff to write about. I'm just having a hard time keeping that side of my brain fired up. Hopefully by acknowleding it, I'll be more focused on doing better at expressing myself. More to come!

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Hot girl complex

Dear girl I saw at the bar on Friday,

Let me start by saying that yes, you are a decent looking woman. You were dressed well. Not slutty at all, but still very cute and fun. You also have a nice body and a pretty face. But the hot girl attitude has to go. Even though we never spoke, I over heard you talking to some of your friends. Sweetheart, you are not Brooklyn Decker. You look like almost every other "Charleston girl" I've seen since I've lived here. You are a good looking woman though, I'm not denying that at all. I'd be more that stoked if you paid me some attention. But your attitude was just a little too much. I appreciate swagger. I have some of my own. But I also don't think nearly as highly of myself as you seemed to evaluate yourself. I'm not trying to be an asshole, that's why I didn't call you out on it. But do us all a favor, take it down a notch. Maybe then Brian will call you next time. I bet he likes you like you think he does, but the attitude is a bit much.

Warmest regards,

Normal guy who wasn't trying to eavesdrop but couldn't help it.

Still on a quotes kind of kick...

To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.

The big party

So, I think I've had the start of this conversation with a couple of you but nothing really in depth yet. This one is important so get this one right.

If something unforeseen happens and I die earlier than the rest of you luck bastards, here's the in depth description of how I want the finale to go.

Step 1: You will cremate me. I do not want to be in a box in the ground. If any of my organs are still usable, give them away to whomever can use them. I don't care at all what you do with my ashes. Throw them out, scatter them, snort them... I don't care at that point.

Step 2: I have more than adequate life insurance. The bills will get paid. Take the rest and throw what can only be described as the most epic party ever. I don't want a wake or a funeral. I don't want anything depressing. I try hard to spread some joy to every one of you all every day. So, in remembering me you'll have a party. And not just a party, and epic party. A "Boobs and Bombs Party." You will hire women, cute women with big titties. They will wear either bikini tops or really tight tank tops. They will carry around jagerbombs on trays. You will do the shots. You will not argue with me. "But I don't like jager!" I don't care. In my memory you will toast and do the shots. The music will also have to be amazing. You all know how I tend to dj most of the stuff we do. And you all know how important music is to me so make some good choices.

Tiffi was going to be in charge of hiring the women, but since she thinks there should be guys there for the women to look at she's lost that responsibility. John gets it instead. He knows the kinds of women I like, he'll do alright. In the coming months many of you will be getting your individual responsibilities so you're not caught off guard. And again, nothing depressing. So help me, I'll haunt you if you pull some weak shit.

Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.

That being said, I'm still working on figuring out my own stance on everything. It's still a rolling target too. Things I think I believe yesterday don't seem to hold the same weight today. I really have a tendency to try and make others happy more often than not. That's been the topic for my focus lately. It's time for that mentality to take a walk. I'll still do all the small things that I believe some of you appreciate. But I'm going to call you out on the bullshit. I'm going to do what I want, even if you disagree. I'm going to live my life from this point forward with a level of personal integrity that I can be happy with. It may never match what your level is. It's a rolling target. I'm OK with that. But I'm stepping my game up on an almost daily basis. I've yet to see you even try. In fact, I think some of you are falling back again. Normally I'd be right there to pick you up and carry you with me. Not really feeling that anymore. I told you all this was going to be a big year for me. I kept thinking that you'd all be here with me at the end, but it's not looking so good for some of you now. And while that may go completely against my first instinct, I'm not going to wait around. I may look back from time to time though and remember the good and bad stuff. And if you want help, just ask. I'll help you get moving forward however I can. But you have to take the initiative for a change.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

"But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.”

And that's why I really do believe that if you're my friend, you're going to hear me say things you don't want to hear. Not because I don't care about you, but because I do in fact care. I'll support almost every decision without a second thought as long as you present it as though you've given it some thought. I try pretty hard not to judge anyone I call my friend. I know I do things worthy of judgement pretty damn often. But then again, I've never claimed to be anything close to perfection. I'm just a fairly normal dude. I make mistakes pretty consitently, and I'll admit when I'm wrong. I try to not be an ass when I tell you stuff you don't want to hear. But, if you push me don't think I won't push right back. I'm not that pushover you used to know.

attitude

I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.

If you see me talking on the phone

If you see me talking on the phone, DON'T TALK TO ME! If you see me on the phone, you've found me. Unless I'm walking around a store and shopping, then you just see me in passing. But, by the time I get to the counter to pay for stuff, I'm off the phone. If you start talking and don't realize I'm on the phone, that's ok. Just stop talking to me when you see I'm on it.

And if you're on the phone with me, STOP HAVING OTHER CONVERSATIONS. That shit drives me nuts. I try to not have other conversations when I'm talking to you. Doesn't always work. That's where the first half of the rant comes into play. But I try. So, please, do me a favor and try and tighten up your game.