The big party

So, I think I've had the start of this conversation with a couple of you but nothing really in depth yet. This one is important so get this one right.

If something unforeseen happens and I die earlier than the rest of you luck bastards, here's the in depth description of how I want the finale to go.

Step 1: You will cremate me. I do not want to be in a box in the ground. If any of my organs are still usable, give them away to whomever can use them. I don't care at all what you do with my ashes. Throw them out, scatter them, snort them... I don't care at that point.

Step 2: I have more than adequate life insurance. The bills will get paid. Take the rest and throw what can only be described as the most epic party ever. I don't want a wake or a funeral. I don't want anything depressing. I try hard to spread some joy to every one of you all every day. So, in remembering me you'll have a party. And not just a party, and epic party. A "Boobs and Bombs Party." You will hire women, cute women with big titties. They will wear either bikini tops or really tight tank tops. They will carry around jagerbombs on trays. You will do the shots. You will not argue with me. "But I don't like jager!" I don't care. In my memory you will toast and do the shots. The music will also have to be amazing. You all know how I tend to dj most of the stuff we do. And you all know how important music is to me so make some good choices.

Tiffi was going to be in charge of hiring the women, but since she thinks there should be guys there for the women to look at she's lost that responsibility. John gets it instead. He knows the kinds of women I like, he'll do alright. In the coming months many of you will be getting your individual responsibilities so you're not caught off guard. And again, nothing depressing. So help me, I'll haunt you if you pull some weak shit.